k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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