I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
