I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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