Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
