But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
