And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize