I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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