Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's like iHOP with fire
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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