After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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