On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
