i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
