u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
