Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
