yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
