On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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