I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
