The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
