More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
