But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
