I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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