just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
