I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
