He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Boobs are out for the taking
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
my liver is dry heaving
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
