I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
