dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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