all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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