So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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