You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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