life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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