Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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