sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
