Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
