Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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