No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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