This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
