If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize