I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
