I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
