I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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