This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
