worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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