Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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