Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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