I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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