he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
