I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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