Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
