Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
