I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
