Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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