My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
