why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
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I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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