the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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