Its about making memories worth repressing
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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