id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
