no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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