if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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