I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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