There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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